fengi: (Mr. Fengi)
[personal profile] fengi
It's 22 days until my next birthday. While I've mostly overcome a lifelong habit of feeling excessive symbolic stress on calendar markers, birthdays require advance work to remain calm. Each day I'll write a post about something interesting related to my day. The goal is to make myself either do myself either do something interesting or view the day as interesting regardless. The point is to head off that "what am I doing with my life" stresshole that tempts me every year.

Last year I found a 1967 50 Kopeck piece commemorating 50 years of Soviet power near the Picasso Sculpture on Daley Federal Plaza. I carried it around, imagining stories of how it got there, feeling like I had a ward against capitalism and eventually losing it. This is part of a longer cycle of symbolic coins or tokens that have passed in and out my pocket.

This morning I was walking along brooding on how much I hate capitalism when I stopped to pick up a pile of pennies on the sidewalk to give it to a nearby panhandler. Speaking in a voice low enough I had to bend to hear, he told me the pile was a test and asked me to give him the dignity of listening to him for a few minutes. It wasn't a hustle so much as just the familiar trawling for a larger donation I've heard from public radio, alumni associations, candidates and any allegedly worthy cause. This pitch acknowledged what it was while pointing out the humiliating need ask for money and respect was still real. I'm resistant to most sales, but an appeal to the obscene divide from which I benefit was hard to resist. 40 bucks, 2 tall boys, a pack of smokes and two blocks making small talk later, we parted ways. As he walked away he paused and threw a coin on the ground towards me. It was a 2 pound coin. I can't tell if it was a gesture of appreciation or contempt, or the street version of a complimentary tote bag, but I'll hold onto it until it inevitably slips from my grasp.

(no subject)

Date: 2016-10-12 08:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kdotdammit.livejournal.com
Great loaded post.

(no subject)

Date: 2016-10-14 02:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fengi.livejournal.com
Thank you! Just wanted to say: I've been reading you for at least 10 years now and I really appreciate your work, be it the discomforting or the contemplative.

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Date: 2016-10-13 05:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] browngirl.livejournal.com
Oh, this is awesome.

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Date: 2016-10-14 02:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fengi.livejournal.com
Thank you. I'm so glad to see you're still writing as well. I've been over on Facebook, but Livejournal has a certain pace and tone that's more like a book.

(no subject)

Date: 2016-10-13 10:46 pm (UTC)
sabotabby: raccoon anarchy symbol (socialism with a human face)
From: [personal profile] sabotabby
That's so strange and kind of amazeballs.

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Date: 2016-10-14 02:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fengi.livejournal.com
Thanks! I just wanted to take a moment, as I'm in that sort of pre-birthday mood, to say a big thank you for all of the high quality words over a decade (at least). The internet overall has felt like a giant anxiety producing skinner box, but there's a collection of thoughtful musings by certain people on here that I think had a positive impact on my own awareness and analytical skills at least a bit. Also: great bits like the Atlas Shrugged Movies.

(no subject)

Date: 2016-10-14 11:35 am (UTC)
sabotabby: raccoon anarchy symbol (socialism with a human face)
From: [personal profile] sabotabby
Aww thanks. And happy birthday! FWIW, you are one of those people for me too.

(no subject)

Date: 2016-10-15 03:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davesmusictank.livejournal.com
Fascinating and informative post. Great find btw.
Edited Date: 2016-10-15 03:05 pm (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2016-10-18 12:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] little-octagon.livejournal.com
Holy crap, you are still posting up in here? I stuck my head in to get an old photo and decided to see who is still keeping the breath of life in this thing.

PS: Was great seeing you at the Quimby's 25th a few weeks ago!